A future Buck Commander?

Tiger has been a bit focused on hunting lately. Our love of walking through Cabela's has not helped this much nor has our love for Duck Dynasty. The funny thing is that Tiger really doesn't like to watch Duck Dynasty, but it must still be seeping in a little bit because Tiger has requested to go hunting on several occasions. Last Sunday, while we were enjoying the beauty of nature on a little family walk together Tiger asked once again.

Tiger: Mama, I just want to go hunting!
Me: You do? What do you want to hunt?
Tiger: Deer
Me: Do you know what you do when you hunt?
Tiger: What?
Me: You kill an animal.
Tiger: OK
Me: So, you want to go and kill a deer?
Tiger: Yes.
Me: Do you want to know what you do after you kill a deer?
Tiger: Yes.
Me: First, you kill the deer. Then you have to split it open and scrape out all of the guts and everything. Then you have to drain all of the blood. Then you have to pull the skin off, and then you cut it up and cook it and eat it. Is that what you want to do?
Tiger: Yes!

He is definitely his own person.

The influence of advertising

A conversation with Tiger this morning:

Tiger: Mom, when you grow up you can be whatever you want to be.

Me: That's true. Work hard and you can be whatever you want to be. What do you want to be?

Tiger: An Applebee's guy.

Me: Huh? An Applebee's guy? What does an Applebee's guy do?

Tiger: Cooks deliciousness.

Weird kid.

He's a big kid now

The other day I was talking to Tiger about what a big boy he is now, and how tall he has gotten, and that he isn't a little kid anymore. I also asked him, now that he is a big boy, what do big boys do?

His responses:

I know things now so I can teach people who know nothing.

They tell the truth.

I can learn about Oceanology.

They work on their writing.

Now I'm officially a teacher, a pirate teacher. I can teach anyone how to be a pirate.

He makes me feel so good about myself

Tiger: Mom, are you going to take a shower today?
Me: I'm not sure. I don't think I feel like it. Why?(Knowing he really just wants to play video games)
Tiger: Because your hair looks yucky.
Awesome.

I learned something new today

I was playing Lego guys with Tiger this morning. Well, really I was sitting next to Tiger while he was playing with his Lego guys. That is is how you play with Tiger.  You sit there and watch him play and occasionally comment on whatever make-believe scenario he is acting out. It's exhilarating. Today's game was titled, "Knights vs. Ninjago vs. Zombies". In case you can't tell from the title, the game included Knight Lego guys, Ninjago Lego guys, and a special appearance by a newly built Zombie Lego guy. From what I could tell, the object of the game was for the Zombie to eat the brains of the other Lego guys.  After the Zombie was done eating the brains he would walk over to Tiger's cup of water and get a drink. I asked Tiger if the Zombie was thirsty from eating all of those brains. He informed me that the brains were spicy and so the Zombie needed a drink. So there you have it. In case you ever wondered, brains are spicy and so you better have some water on hand.

I am told he was at least polite about it

I received a text from a friend of mine who just happened to be the substitute teacher today in Tiger's primary class at church.  Apparently Tiger felt that she was putting a damper on the fun he was trying to have with his friends because he kept saying to the teacher, "Is there another chair you could go sit in?"

Aren't kids great? 

He's making a list and checking it twice

Tiger and I were going through the drive-thru at McDonald's  yesterday when he noticed that someone had thrown their cup into the buses.

Tiger:  Uh-oh.  That person's going to be on the naughty list.  He's going to get a lump of coal.

Can you tell we've watched a few Christmas specials lately?

A Conversation

Tiger:  What is a dinosaur?  (silly boy is always asking questions to which he already knows the answers)

Me:  A giant prehistoric lizard

Me:  What's a Tigersaurus?

Tiger:  He eats Paleontologists . . . . . . and apples.

An argument and a resolution

After missing in action for a few months, we recently found the beloved Lego Indiana Jones underneath our couch on our less than dusted floor.  This of course has made Tiger's day and has also enabled us to have the following argument (again).

Me:  Oh look, we found Indiana.
Tiger:  Indian
Me:  What?  His name is Indiana.
Tiger:  No, his name is Indian.
Me:  Indiana
Tiger:  Indian
Me:  Indiana
Tiger:  Indian
Me:  Indiana
Tiger:  No, his name is actually Junior.

Determination

There is a website my kids like to play on called Poptropica.  Sadly, my poor little Tiger cannot for the life of him pronounce this word.  It usually comes out as Pop-poptrica.  Wrong, but totally adorable.  This is how he has pronounced this word for the last year or so.  Well, for some reason he has got it into his head that he is going to learn how to say this word.  What this really means is that he has been going around the house for the last three days saying this word over and over and over and over again in all sorts of variations, but rarely in its proper form.  I tell you though, his determination has paid off and with a little help he has actually pronounced the word "Poptropica" correctly quite a few times today.  Go little man, go.

Boys are just gross

Tiger and I were walking down the street when he started digging around in his pocket.

Tiger:  Hey, what's in my pocket?
Me:  I don't know.  What do you have in there?
Tiger:  Oh, it's just boogers.

Flying Tiger

"Mom, when I'm a flying Peregrine Falcon and I dive down I won't even throw up."

Lovely

I was lying down on my bed this morning when Tiger came up and jumped on my back.

"Mom, you're the hippo and I'm the pig who can't swim."

A different Perspective

Tiger has been quite sick this week and has therefore been left with the inability to cope with any disappointment that might come his way.  Basically he has been an emotional wreck.  Last night we were sitting around the table eating dinner and Sparky and I were getting ready to leave to do some school shopping.  Tiger immediately lost it because he wasn't able to go as well.  He was crying his poor little eyes out and could not be consoled.  Finally Doug had enough of the crying and told Tiger that he had to stop crying or he wasn't going to be allowed to do anything fun, meaning he wouldn't be allowed to secretly watch Pirates of the Caribbean after I left.  Tiger rubbed his eyes, and while still crying said, "I'm not crying, I'm sweating through my eyes."

Cuteness

I am sitting up in my room folding laundry (shocking I know).
Tiger is sitting on the couch playing Wii (of course)
Suddenly I hear him calling to me.
Me:  What is it Tiger?
Tiger:  Mom, did you know that I like you?

A mysterious illness with a simple cure

Me:  Come on Tiger, let's go to the grocery store.
Tiger:  Sorry, I can't go anywhere today.  I'm sick.
Me:  Where are you sick?
Tiger:  Here in my belly.
Me:  Why are you sick?
Tiger:  Because I ate playdough and peanut butter.
Me:  Well, what should we do then?
Tiger:  Play Wii.  Playing Wii makes me better.

The truth about girls

After I picked Tiger up from his playdate with a girl from his preschool:

Tiger:  Mom, I don't like girls.
Me:  Why?
Tiger:  They're too poofy.

The power of advertising

Tiger:  Mom, when I say Hilshire, you say Farms.
Me:  Ok.
Tiger:  Hilshire
Me:  Farms
Tiger:  Hilshire
Me:  Farms
Tiger:  Good job Mommy.

Of Tigers and Monkeys

A conversation overheard yesterday:

R:  I have a pet tiger.
Tiger:  Well, I have a pet lady bug.
R:  Tigers eat lady bugs.
Tiger:  No they don't.  Tigers eat monkeys.

Tiger Talk

As we were driving to school the other day:  This is a scary song Mom.  Hurry, close your eyes.
____________________________________________________________

"I was not happy to go to sleep when I was sleeping.  I don't like sleeping, or sharing."